Please help me to find the meaning of life

i'm writing in search of some possible directions to take, directions that
will also help affect my lack of faith and motivation. when i write "faith" i
mean faith in myself, which includes a longstanding habit of self-deprecation
and addiction. i haven't been able to hold a job for very long, i've wondered
and wandered around for years, have abandoned many opportunities in life,
frequently flying away when i would have otherwise needed to commit, i'm
depressed, i've been diagnosed bi-polar, i attempted suicide in april, and i
am now trying to forgive myself, accept myself, and move on, but i'm a bit
paralyzed. any suggestions?
i also should mention that i haven't much in terms of financial resources. i
have been living on different couches sinces i got out of the hospital and i
would love to find a treatment/rehab center where i can 180 my life.
any info would be appreciated.
thank you and take care.


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